How the “Not Yet” Strategy Helped Me Stop ADHD Distractions in Midlife

The Power of “Not Yet”: How One Tiny Shift Helped Me Finally Move Forward with ADHD in Midlife

If you’ve ever made big Monday plans… and then spent Monday reorganizing your Tupperware drawer instead… you are SO not alone.

Here’s a little secret I used to keep to myself:

I spent years believing that “next week” Shari was going to save the day.

Next week, I was going to be focused.

Next week, I was going to finally get caught up.

Next week, I was going to follow my planner to the letter and actually finish all those half-started projects gathering dust.

And then?

Monday would roll around… and somehow, despite all my best intentions, I’d be knee-deep in laundry, answering emails, scrolling Instagram, and wondering:

“Why can’t I just stay focused like everyone else?”

Does this sound familiar?

Guess What? You’re not broken.

Your brain is just doing exactly what it’s wired to do.

Let’s talk about why — and what you can do about it.

🧠 Why Your Brain Keeps “Saving It for Later” — and What’s Really Going On
When I listened to a TEDx talk by Melina Palmer, it felt like she had crawled inside my head and turned on a light.

She explained that there are four sneaky brain habits that keep us stuck in procrastination and overwhelm — especially when you live with ADHD:

1. Time Discounting

Your brain treats “Future You” like a totally different person.

(You know, that other woman who will be magically more motivated, less distracted, and have nothing unexpected pop up!)

2. Optimism Bias

You honestly believe that next time, you’ll be faster, better, more focused — even if history tells another story.

3. Planning Fallacy

You wildly underestimate how long things will take.

(And forget to build in time for life, like lunch… or a random crying session because your jeans fit weird.)

4. Bike Shedding (Don’t worry — I had no idea what this meant either!)

Bike shedding is when your brain tricks you into focusing on easy, small tasks that feel productive but don’t actually move you toward your real goal.

For example:

You sit down to start your Big Important Project…

…and suddenly it feels urgent to clean out your email inbox.

Or alphabetize your spice rack.

Or pick out throw pillows for the guest room.

Those things might be fine — but they aren’t the thing you set out to do.

It’s not laziness.

It’s a brain craving an easy dopamine hit instead of facing something bigger, scarier, or newer.

💛 How I Finally Stopped Waiting for “Better Mondays” and Started Moving Forward

There was a moment — one random Tuesday afternoon — when I realized something important:

I could spend the rest of my life waiting for the “perfect” version of me to show up. You know her too right?

She’s the hyper-focused, organized, never-distracted version.

The woman who crushed her to-do list by 10 a.m. and made green smoothies and remembered every appointment and birthday.

Or…

I could start working with the brain and body I have right now.

Today.

Messy, distracted, emotional — but still capable of incredible things.

And that’s when I found the two words that changed everything:

👉 Not Yet.

Not perfect.

Not heroic.

Not crushing 87 tasks in a day.

Just…

Not Yet.

It gave me permission to stop chasing some imaginary, flawless “future me.”

And to start building real, tangible wins — one tiny step at a time — with the perfectly imperfect brain I have.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re running out of time — please hear this:

You are not too late.

You are not too broken.

You are not alone.

You are just one “Not Yet” away from starting.

🧩My Favourite ADHD Strategy I Use Every Single Day: “Not Yet”
There are a lot of tools and tricks out there for ADHD — but if I could only share one, it would be this:

👉 Whenever I feel the urge to distract myself… I quietly, patiently say, “Not Yet.”

And I mean every single day.

• When I feel the itch to grab my phone and scroll…

  “Not yet. I’m working on this right now. I can scroll later.”

• When I want to check my email just because my brain is getting restless…

  “Not yet. I’ll finish this task first, then reward myself.”

• When a more exciting, easier task pops into my head and tempts me away from what matters…

“Not yet. That fun thing can wait. Right now, I’m staying with what I chose.”

It’s gentle.

It’s kind.

It’s not punishing or harsh.

It’s simply reminding my brain that the good stuff — the little dopamine reward it craves — is coming. Just not yet.

And over time?

Saying “Not Yet” has completely changed how I handle distractions.

It’s made focus feel possible, not like an exhausting battle.


✨ Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Be “Better” — You Just Need a Different Conversation with Yourself
You’re not lazy.

You’re not scattered.

You’re not failing.

You’re just wired for distractions — especially in midlife when hormones and responsibilities are pulling you in a hundred directions.

But a simple, patient, compassionate “Not Yet” can keep you tethered to your real goals.

– One small moment at a time.

– One decision at a time.

– One promise to yourself at a time.

And those tiny moments add up to real change.

👉 Ready to Stop Waiting for the “Perfect You” to Show Up?
If you’re tired of starting over every Monday…

If you’re craving a real plan that actually works with your ADHD brain — not against it…

If you’re ready to finally feel proud, not panicked, about how you spend your time…

I would be honored to help.

This is exactly what we work on together — building ADHD-friendly strategies that feel doable, not overwhelming, so you can create real momentum in your life (and actually enjoy it).

🎯 Book your free clarity call.

We’ll talk about what’s keeping you stuck, and I’ll show you a simple path forward.

No pressure. Just real help from someone who gets it.

👉 You don’t have to figure this out alone anymore.

Let’s take the first step — together. 💛